This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:
Cat Cannon Trip
I DON’T EVEN WATCH THIS STUPID SHOW AND IM DYING
breaking bad + tumblr text posts (2/?)
a tough opponent
it’s almost time
IT IS AUGUST
my favorite part of any lets play is when geoff immediately shuts down anyone making a red vs blue reference
Personally I’m a fan of when he’s the one to make an RvB reference and then one of the other guys immediately makes him regret it
Same here Dale.
Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
HE DID NOT GET ROB PAULSEN TO DO THIS
HE DID NOT
NOSTALGIA CRITIC HOW—!!!
OH MY FUCKING GOD
I’m so happy this exists.
Why do some Targets have those big red concrete orbs out in front of them what purpose do those big red concrete orbs serve
laugh like Geoff
play like Gavin
rule like Ryan
win like Ray
fight like Micheal
persevere like Jack
don’t just live life, achieve it
How I wake up every morning
Page 1 of 1405